Wow! You actually came to
this page. Our lawyers made us include it and made us use a precious button on
our home page to get you here. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real
pain. But then we read the page. What a Net wakening! It's really important
stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable
English. So be a smart net head and read the stuff on this page. It could
prevent you from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from really nasty people,
like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that
people like you (and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment,
information, education, communication, and cyber gratification. So go ahead and
browse around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only
for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, don't fool around with the
copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They're there for a really good
reason. And don't even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting,
reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including
the text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless we
give you written permission. And it's not likely we will.
If you visit our site,
you're also legally obligated to [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions
listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the
Internet, the World Wide Web, or Hagerstown, MD. You shouldn't access or browse
the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there's no
turning back -- you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our
Top Ten Rules for Cyber surfers who hang out on our site:
1.
For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted
unless we say it's not. So you can't use the stuff except how we say you can on
this page or anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like
we said before, it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In fact, even
if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So its better
you don't even ask.
2.
While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we're not promising you its
accurate. In fact, we're not promising you anything except fun and
entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site, you're using it at your own
risk. Don't call us if there's a problem because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3.
We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site are not
liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers
want you to know that our disclaimer includes "direct, incidental,
consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or
use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is
provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WA
Please note that some
jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the
above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any
restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties.
" Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes
because we couldn't figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers would
accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're not responsible if you're browsing
around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty
viruses. We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call us.
4.
If you don't want the world to know something, don't post in on the site in any
bulletin board or anyplace else. That's because anything you disclose to us is
ours. That's right -- ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff you
post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it,
and post it someplace else. We can even send it to your mother (as soon as we
find her address). Not only that, we can even use any ideas, concepts,
know-how, or techniques you post any way we want to, including, developing,
manufacturing and marketing products or other stuff using the information you
post.
5.
Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our property or
someone else's property we're using with their permission. No matter what, it's
definitely not your property. You or any of your net-friends can't use it
unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess
what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because unauthorized use may
violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to
yourself.
6.
There are also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that
either we own or we're using with someone else's permission. So don't think you
have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and we're not
about to give you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess with our
trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we'll probably go ballistic,
so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos and service marks.
That means that we're likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after
you for messing around with our property or the property of others.
7.
You'll probably notice we've linked our site to lots of others. While that's
cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all those sites, much less checked them
out periodically to see what's going on. So don't blame us if some site you
link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and
link, but remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8.
That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen in
on chat groups, or look at the posting in our discussion groups or on our
bulletin boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the
content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander,
omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter
when you visit such places on our site. And don't be stupid by posting or
transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous,
inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material
that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in
court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law -- anywhere,
anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to
fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask
us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9.
Software that we use on this Site is protected by all sorts of patriotic
10.
We're also allowed to change this page and anything else on the site any time
we want to. That's because it's ours and we have the programmers who can do it.
If we do change the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with] those
changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
11.
If either of us wants to make something of it and wants to “sue” (a dirty word)
then we have to follow these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the
Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed
by the laws of the State of
To the extent you have in
any manner violated or threatened to violate OTBest.com and/or its affiliates'
intellectual property rights, OTBest.com and/or its affiliates may seek
injunctive or other appropriate relief in any state or federal court in
the State of
Any other disputes will be
resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under
this agreement, we agree to first try to resolve it with the help of a mutually
agreed-upon mediator in the following location:
If it proves impossible to
arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution through mediation, we agree to
submit the dispute to binding arbitration at the following location:
If this all sounds kind of
mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the
first place. We had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was
outlawed in the
OTBest.com
This Legal Document Was
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